Playing Catch Up

Oh my goodness. I am so behind on this blogging thing. I am failing terribly at documenting many things in the Garrison house. Let's see, since we last met the biggest thing (which is pretty darn BIG) in our world is that we are welcoming a tiny tot Garrison to the world. After a long 20 week wait, we finally discovered our little baby bean was a GIRL! Back to the tiny tot Garrison thing, she isn't measuring so tiny at every appointment. We will see though... I mean, she really doesn't stand a chance to be petite with parents like she has. I have never been considered petite. In fact, I think I skipped little girl sizes and went straight to youth/women's sizes. Oh our poor little one. Luckily, I will be able to relate to her abnormal size and can offer some "oh, wise one" suggestions.

We started our journey to get our little Avery Elizabeth a couple of years ago. We had no clue it would be so difficult to get her. But let me tell you, she has already been well worth the wait. I can't wait for her to be here! I am ready to hold her and love on her, teach her how to paint and craft, and of course throw as many bows on her head as possible. And well, Clay can't wait to teach her how to swing a golf club and dribble a ball. If you knew my basketball skills, you might agree that he should be the one teaching her how to dribble. I was what they call a "defensive player" back in my day.

We are enjoying this time before she gets here. We have been getting her nursery ready and getting some of her necessities. I've been sewing and making hair bows, tutu's, and bow holders. This little diva doll will be hard to locate amongst all of the decoration on her little body. We are reading books to prepare for her.. as much as a book can help you prepare for anything. And who knows, maybe we will need a whole other set of books to read when she gets here. And if that is the case, we will go get us some new books. But in the mean time we are trying to prepare as best as we can.

I have had many favorite memories during the pregnancy but I really enjoyed how we got to tell our family. Luckily my parents told me that they were going to come up for the 4th of July holiday. We figured this would be the perfect time to break the news because all of Clay's family would be together and now my parent's would be able to join in the fun and we could break the news all at once. What a hard secret it was to keep! We got our loud mouth-sometimes inappropriate brother-in-law to take a picture of the whole group (minus my brother who had to work ;(....) Little did everybody know that he was actually videoing the whole time in order to get their reactions. At this point in our baby journey, our family knew we had been trying to have a baby very unsuccessfully. It was a "step around" subject. So when our brother-in-law suggested we all say "BABY" instead of "Cheese" because Clay and Whitney are pregnant" the whole family sat in a confused state. Kaitlen (his wife/Clay's sister) makes some of the biggest eyes at him that speak a thousand words. The "I can not believe you just said that and I can not wait to rip you a new one when we get out of this room. That is not funny" kind of eyes. The whole group was in such a state of shock that they literally did not believe we were pregnant until both Clay and I confirmed several times. I know my mother-in-law sat and sobbed once she realized it was the truth (her reaction is really one of the bests-please watch the video twice and only watch her 1x) and both of my parents were crying. My father-in-law was very calm but you could definitely see the shock in his face. All of Avery's aunts were so excited and I think I heard Kami squeal. Once we revealed we were pregnant we had presents for all of the grandparents and aunts-to-be.. and of course CAKE! Here is the video:

http://youtu.be/IuMgvsYEuj0 

Shout out to Carmen for inspiring me to blog again..... well..... threatening me if I didn't ;)

Rain, Rain, GO AWAY!

Reporting live from Fayetteville, Arkansas, this is Whitney Garrison with the Garrison Gazette news. It's going to be cold and rainy today every day for 3 weeks. So pull out your slickers, umbrella, and rain boots. You are about to get wet and your cars are about to be damaged by hail. Oh, and to mix in with that rain and hail, expect to have occasional tornado scares and go ahead and get your camera ready for creepy sky snapshots. Since your dogs are scared of storms be ready to clean up lots of dog vomit and prepare to panic when you can't find them. They will be under your bed, behind your entertainment center, underneath the couch, and in a box in your closet. Be sure to cancel that cook out you were planning and don't even think about laying in your hammock. Just go ahead and plan for that hammock to get blown across your yard. But don't worry, don't wait to fix it until the rain stops... because it won't. So you can trek through the ankle deep water and downpour to fix it. And one last thing, you are going to want to map out alternate driving routes because you aren't going to be able to make it home the same way you take every day. Plan on those roads being flooded. So that's it for your April showers. Now lets hope for some beautiful May flowers.

This is our back yard

 This was once a little creek

 Water spilling out of creek into neighborhood

 This is supposed to be grass and roadway

 There is a walking trail in there somewhere

 This is suppose to be grass

 This is the main road to our house

 This cloud looked like it was starting to spin a little bit

 A very low and dark cloud

 Looks like a painting

 Pictures just don't do it justice

As Seen on TV

It has been a long time since I have been on here. The rainy weather has given me more than enough time to get caught up on all of my television shows (Sister Wives, Jersey Shore, The Real Housewives of Every County, and Teen Mom… I mean um, uhhh The O’Reily Factor, 60 Minutes, and Dateline. Yeah that’s it.) Clay and I couldn’t possibly talk about one more thing, by “one more thing” I mean one more sports statistics or fact that I could care less about, but he thinks I find interesting nuggets of information… and my dogs are beyond sick of chasing after their bone and staring at Clay on the couch. Needless to say, we have been a little bored. However, all of this extra “tv time” has given me a great opportunity to catch up on the latest “as seen on tv” products. I always get a crack out of some of the infomercials. My goodness, I don’t know if it is the cheesy, awful acting, or the product itself that I find so laughable. For instance, let’s take the “Cami Secret.”I would like to think of it as a boob apron.
 
It looks like they cut half of their underwear off and attached it to their bra. Maybe they borrowed this idea from pilgrims. I don’t know who you are kidding, it ain’t sexy and a camisole is not that unbearable.


Oh and another one of my favorites… The “Neckline Slimmer.”

You honestly can’t go wrong with a little chin exercise, assuming you live a lonely life or are striving to. This is absolutely hysterical to me. Can you imagine walking in on your spouse or friend using the neckline slimmer while watching tv. They already have something makes your neckline slimmer, it’s called not being 40 lbs overweight and not frequenting the local Denny’s every Saturday morning. I don’t mean to knock you if you have one. Please feel free to let me know how you like it. I’m just saying the infomercial cracks me up.

Just when you thought you couldn’t get enough with the Snuggie, they decided to treat man’s best friend to the same comfort. That’s right folks, a Snuggie for dogs.

Just when your dog thinks they are having a hard time managing their blanket in the cold weather while trying to reach for a bone or toy, the “snuggie for dogs” comes right in and saves the day. My dogs had been depressed for months, they hadn’t been eating, and their psychologist said they had suicidal tendencies… Something had to be done… The Snuggie was just what they needed. After a few nights of comfortable, warm, reach free rest they were back to eating, chewing shoes, and pooping on the carpet. Thanks Snuggie!

And my all time favorite for this weekend, today, lately… I would like to introduce you to the pajama jean.
 
Just when you thought you couldn’t get any lazier and lose any more self respect. Look at these bad boys. Hot and sexy! (By “sexy”, I mean Sarah Jessica Parker sexy, not Brad Pitt sexy). I see the importance of comfort in your day to day life but I suggest you go with a nice jegging. The pajama jean should be kept indoors in dark lighting. They should be worn with caution. I highly suggest you not mix the pajama jean with the above listed cami secret. Can you imagine the surprise your significant other would find when they reach to touch your leg and are so surprised by their soft comfort of your pajama pants on your high profile date. And I can’t even imagine what surprise they would get when they realize your shirt is a boob apron. Oh my. This weekend of infomercials has been great! Thank you “as seen on tv” for the entertainment!

Healthy Shmelthy

Ok, so it's a new year and a new me... right?!?! Clay and I are both on a eating healthy in 2011 kick. Let's hope it lasts. I just had to share my latest find at the grocery store. Check out these bad boys and heat one up. SOOOO Good. and healthy. I have tried more than the three cheese chicken and so far they have all been really good. Really makes life easier when all you have to do is throw a bag in the microwave. The food is steamed and will not burn your insides like a hot pocket will. LOL

Speaking of hot pockets. Clay and I have ongoing jokes after listening to some of Jim Gaffigin's stand up. Here are a few of his hot pocket jokes. Hilarious.

"Lean Pockets, I don't even wanna know what's in those. I wonder what the directions are on a box of Lean Pockets: 'Remove from box, place directly in toilet.' Flush Pocket"

"There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don't want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea."

"They recently invented the breakfast hot pocket, FINALLY. I can’t think of a better way to start the day; Good morning... you’re about to call in sick. Now I can have a Hot Pocket for breakfast, a Hot Pocket for lunch, and be DEAD by dinner. (whisper) Dead Pocket"

"What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, “Hey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, dunk it in a toilet."

And this one is just because I love pie and cake... and good humor.
"Pie can’t compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen."

So in conclusion, my posting about healthy eating has just turned into a blog about food and how good a slice of cake would be right now. I think this blog posting backfired on me..... Where are my dern M&M's.